Blender and stuff

Hm.. I don't know what to think about it. I'm not sure why I've posted here.. I mean I do but it's a long story.  I thought I could maybe post daily but clearly I couldn't. I was doing tools models but then my doubts got me again. Since exporting is bit of a struggle for me I just gave up. I came back daily to see analytics, I got quite a few views but no downloads.. for like two weeks, so I thought it's not worth it. Then someone downloaded shitty rocks and I was anxious for a week or so, I know it sucks, the file format is wrong, etc.. etc.. so I felt really bad about wasting someone's time. I would like to fix it but I don't know how, I don't know what people want, what do they except, what are the standards.. so many questions.. too much to worry, that's why I gave up on tools models. I would like to ask for feedback but I can't, I can't enable the comments...

But then I got some more downloads, someone even followed me even though clearly there is nothing to follow, it was a post from a 2 months ago, clearly a one off. I am really puzzled at this point, should I just make mode models or not... I mean why bother, internet is already saturated with it. I'm not really good with Blender but I would like to publish something, this was one of the simplest things that came to my mind.

Not even sure it's a good place to post that but I don't have a website or anything. I am curious how itch.io works, how this "devlog" feature works.. I hope it doesn't bombard someone with spam or something..

I really like doing procedural stuff and shaders but um.. I can't finish a single one. I've had this one that was going to be a pixelart procedural explosion sprite but I was stuck on something.. hm.. I think couldn't "trace" the explosion blobs from the center and calculating their size or something.. so I just had to scrap it. And recently, after doing these shitty rocks models, I tried to make wooden wall but.. I really had no idea how to do it just using a mesh so I drifted off trying to make a wood grain shader.. it even kinda worked but I couldn't control the grain destiny the way I wanted so I just gave up again. I could probably post a picture of it but I'm too lazy to be honest. None would look the way I want it to anyway, that would cost me ton of time to get a single picture.

Right now I just working on a program in Godot.. for managing files and such, I think I'm going to dump few thousands of hours on it and then scrap it again, lol. I don't really know how I would host this one, any programs.. so that leaves me with last opportunity- making games, but hm.. I can't :).

There is also music but I feel the weakest in it.

I just really don't know what to do at this point. I would love to post something but everything is low quality and/or unfinished and I'm afraid I'm not improving.

TL;DR I probably won't post anything in here but I'm really itching to do something, it's just that I'm afraid none of it is worth your time.

I would ask if you want to see any more stuff from me but I know you wouldn't.. so why bother.. why am I so messed up (:. Sorry for wasting your time if you read that lol. I tried to keep talking/writing to minimum but clearly I've failed.

EDIT: Well actually I've found the um.. gif of that explosion shader, it's.. um.. nvm I guess.. but I got low spec PC so gif is a little bit off from the original. I would grab what I have so far with wood texture but I would crash my PC, I don't have enough RAM right now, maybe other time, lol.